Matthew 18:15-20 "Restoration and Unity"

Matthew Chapter 18 is one of Jesus’ 5 Major Discourses seen in Matthew. A discourse by def. is “a formal and orderly and usually extended expression of thought on a subject.”

In Matt 18, Jesus is expounding on how believers are to behave.

Thus, this discourse is often titled, “The Discourse on the Church.” or “The Manual for the Disciple.”

And, why does Jesus feel the need to speak about these things? Well, contextually, we read in Matt 18:1 “At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

But, this was not an innocent question…rather an argument. In Mark 9:33-34 Jesus “...asked them, “What was it you disputed among yourselves on the road?” 34 But they kept silent, for on the road they had disputed among themselves who would be the greatest.”

So, their hearts are not pure in this matter. They think Jesus is about to establish His kingdom on earth, and they dispute on who will be…per the definition of ‘greatest’… the “elder; at the beginning.”

And, as an object lesson, Jesus places a child in their midst and tells them they need to change their thinking and “become as little children.” ... “whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matt 18:4

“If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.” Mark 9:35

Jesus also warned his disciples from being their own worst enemy…if their hand, feet, or eyes caused them to sin they were to cut it off…figuratively…if sin in one’s life caused a severance in relationship with God, it would be better to severe the sinful member of the body... better to entering eternity maimed then to enter hell whole.

Then, Jesus gave a stark warning to people who would stumble believers into sin…it would be better if before they stumbled a believer to have a millstone…a several hundred pound grinding stone... tied around their neck and tossed into the sea versus facing God in judgment for the perverse sin of stumbling a believer.

God will go to great lengths to avenge and to protect His children…as seen where we ended last week...the Parable of the Lost Sheep…Jesus pictured a Shepherd who would leave the 99 safe sheep to travel up a mountain…into the elements…to find that one lost sheep who had strayed from Him.

In V14, Jesus said, “Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.”

And, we pick up today in V15 where Jesus will explain the importance of reconciliation amongst believers…an important message for these disputing disciples to hear.

The title of today’s message is, “Restoration and Unity.”

Let’s Pray!

Matt 18:15-17 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”

In V15, you don’t see this word “Moreover” in all the Bible versions, but it is here in the NKJV and typically placed as a way of either adding to what was previously said -or- as a means of opposition and distinction to a preceding statement.

By def. moreover means “but or now,” …which is fitting given the context.

To the bickering disciples it’s a strong additive statement, “In addition to being humble and a servant, you must also reconcile with your brothers.”

And, in comparison to the nature of God, it’s a strong contrast, “Unlike God who will go to great lengths to rescues His wandering sheep, you all have been disputing…so reconcile with your brothers.”

Now matter how you take it…it’s convicting.

Matthew 18:15-20 is probably the most helpful passage in understanding how to Biblically reconcile with another believer…lots of wisdom in these verses.

These verses were birthed out of a dispute between the disciples, but God can use even a dispute for good.

The process of reconciliation taught in these verses is not easy to do, but it’s the proper thing to do.

Since this process is not easy, people stray and mis-apply or ignore God’s word on restoration…and this causes further hurt within the body of Christ.

Sometimes a believer sins against another believer, and the one offended just doesn’t deal with it. They stuff the hurt and sweep the incident under the rug…or say, “I forgave them in my heart.” Often, just to avoid conflict.

But, avoiding the confrontation…even though it may seem easier…does not allow proper reconciliation or growth.

Bitterness is harbored, and the other person may not understand what they did and they may repeat the sin to you or another person.

By lovingly confronting the person who sinned against you, you may stop further harm.

Sometimes a believer sins against another believer, and the one offended skips steps. Step one is to go alone, but they go to steps 2 and 3 first, telling other believers all about how they were wronged.

Now, this may feel better…to rally allies for comfort and “prayer gossip” for the offending party, but Jesus said first go alone.

And, we are going to cover these steps, but let’s start with the foundation of when and how this even applies in the first place…which is when you are the victim of another believer sinning against you…or as I call it, “Friendly Fire”... it’s one of the worst because we have higher expectations from fellow Christians.

So…V15 “...if your brother sins against you...” What is Jesus saying here?

First of all… “brother” here is not your physical brother, blood brother, or brother from another mother…NO…this is your spiritual brother or spiritual sister (ladies your are not exempt here)…

...sometimes “brother” is translated as “brethren.” The NLT translation (which is a thought for thought translation) states “If another believer sins against you...” and that is the accurate portrayal here.

Well, what is sin? It’s important that we understand what Jesus is talking about regarding sin, so we don’t misapply Matthew 18.

And, if you’re visiting today, and you’re thinking, “Great…a sermon about how I’m a no good rotten sinner...” NO…that’s not what I’m preaching about…I’m preaching about when a no good rotten sinner sins against you…you’re mostly off the hook today…

But look, I know that preaching on sin in any form is not a very popular message today. Many Pastors avoid talking about sin because…well, they don’t want people to feel uncomfortable in church…if they can tickle your ears…give you a motivational pep talk…and make you feel good…well hey, maybe you’ll come back…drop a coin in the coffer…and then we all feel good.

Listen to me…I’d rather you come here 1x and hear truth that will resonate in your heart and mind forever, then for you to come here for years and only hear fluff.

I’m not here to fluff your pillow…I’m here to teach God’s word, and sometimes... that may ruffle your feathers.

When you teach the Bible how Paul did… “For I have not shunned to declare to you the whole counsel of God.” (Acts 20:27) you cannot avoid uncomfortable topics.

And, so, we come to this word “sin.” “Sin” and it’s variations appear in the Bible over 1200 times…“Sin” appears 769x in the Bible; Trespass 78x; Transgression 143x; Iniquity 294x…

Jesus’ name appears in the Bible 981x…even if you add “Messiah, Savior, Deliver”…the variations of sin still occur more often.

And, this tells me Sin is an important topic to God…because we know the Son is important. If important to God, this topic should be important to us as well…it’s not something to avoid, even if uncomfortable.

After David was confronted by Nathan the prophet about David’s adultery with Bathsheba and murder against her husband Uriah, David wrote Ps 51. …In Ps 51:2-4, notice the 3 words David used to describe the evil he committed…“Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me. 4 Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight—”

Before we talk about sin, transgression and iniquity…I want to point out that David recognized that his evil was against God and God alone. Other people may be damaged and hurt, but evil is against God. He takes it personal, because sin is against His holiness and His divine will.

It’s a perversion of His original design. Sin was not created by God in the garden of Eden…it was an invention of Satan and introduced to mankind.

When we sin…it is against God…it grieves the Holy Spirit.

In Ps 51, Sin, transgression, and iniquity.... All three words generally express evil and lawlessness against God, but these words have different meanings.

So, let’s define these words…because it’s important to understand the concept of sin being that Jesus lays out the scenario “…if your brother sins against you...”

I would suggest since sin is the most general of these words... that if your brother also trespasses, transgresses, or commits iniquity against you…you still must address the issue.

Sin means “to miss the mark.” It’s an archery term for missing the bullseye…missing the mark. It’s a wrong against God or man that results in a negative outcome…sin could even be unintentional. It’s not doing what is right as defined in His word, or led by His Spirit, or through sound biblical counsel.

Sin is a general term summed up in Rom 3:23 “…all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

Sin is part of the human nature thanks to the Fall of Adam, and left unchecked…sin will progress downward until a person has a debased mind as spoken about in Rom 1:28. Debased means “unapproved or rejected; by implication... worthless, castaway, rejected, reprobate.”

To check sin, one must heed the promptings of the Holy Spirit…who regenerates us. By def. regeneration is “the divine action by which God renews the fallen creation so that it reflects his character.”

Regeneration points to spiritual rebirth, renovation and restoration.

We see this in Titus 3:4-5 “But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, 5 not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit...”

Simply speaking…to keep sin in check, you must be saved.

When sin is not checked, the downward progression leads to trespasses, transgressions and iniquities.

Trespassing is entering unlawfully on someone else’s property. A line is crossed...a fence is jumped. God laid a boundary… “Do not eat...” and Adam and Eve both ate…they both crossed the line…guilty of trespassing and even worse.

Transgressing is a bit more devious than sin and trespassing. It’s intentional and willful disobedience. By def. “going aside”… it means to overstep or violate a command. Eve was guilty of trespassing because God told her “do not eat,” but she did it anyway.

1 Tim 2:14 “And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.” So, Eve transgressed, which makes me wonder if we would define Adam’s evil even worse…as iniquity.

Iniquity is premeditated. It’s not only doing wrong, but it’s thinking about it ahead of time and continuing into sin unrepentant. David saw Bathsheba, he was warned she was married and her husband and father-in-law served closely with David... yet he continued anyway.

Mic 2:1 captures iniquity well.... “Woe to those who devise [or scheme or plan] iniquity, And work out evil on their beds! At morning light they practice it [or do it], Because it is in the power of their hand.”

Iniquity, Transgression, Trespassing and Sin are all against God, yet God in His mercy, love, and desire to bring His creation (you and I) back into relationship with Him…He sent His Son that “whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (Jn 3:16)

All of these sins are washed by the precious blood of the Lamb. The only sin God cannot forgive is rejection of the work of the Holy Spirit…who leads us to repentance and salvation in Jesus Christ.

At the end of Ps 32 (which may have been a reflection of David’s iniquity with Bathsheba), David wrote Ps 32:5 “And you forgave the iniquity of my sin.”

As David repented, God forgave. God is always ready to extend forgiveness for any sin, so long as we repent, and as long as we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.

So, now that we hopefully have a good grasp on sin, back in Matt 18, Jesus said “If your brother sins against you...” Sin is the most broad word for evil against God…trespassing, transgressing and iniquity all apply as well.

V15 “...if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.”

If another believer sins…if they commit wrong against you knowingly or unknowingly, Jesus commands that you “go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.”

“Go” and “tell” are imperatives…they are commands…they are not suggestions.

If you do not talk to the other person, you are now guilty of disobeying Jesus, and are guilty of sin for this disobedience and for not doing what is right. If you know to do good and don’t do it…you are in sin.

Keep this in mind because Jesus commands the believer “go and tell him...”

You address the issue for your sake, for their sake, and for the greater good so they don’t harm other people knowingly or unknowingly.

Lev 19:17 similar in concept, states, ‘You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your neighbor, and not bear sin because of him.”

By addressing the issue, you are loving your brother…you’re not harboring hate in your heart. By talking with them about the wrong they did, you are not held guilty because of them. You did your part to help them and to right the relationship.

For Jesus’ disciples who had been disputing about who was the greatest…in these verses...Jesus now commands reconciliation.

Ps 133:1 “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to dwell together in unity!”

And, I believe unity is at the heart of why Jesus is teaching His disciples about how to deal with being offended.

If you put Matt 18 into practice, keep in mind the context of Matthew 18:4, where Jesus taught the disciples that they must become as little children…humble.

If your heart is to reconcile with your brother, when you “go and tell him his fault...” be sure to approach them with humility.

Gal 6:1 “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself [keep watch on yourself] lest you also be tempted.”

In V15 “…tell him his fault...” the word “fault” by definition means “to expose, to convict, convince, rebuke, reprove.”

D.A. Carson wrote, “The aim is not to score points over him but to win him over because all discipline, even this private kind, must begin with redemptive purposes.”

Step one is a private conversation… “tell him his fault between you and him alone.”

How often, when you have been offended…is it just a misunderstanding that is cleared up by a simple conversation? Going alone not only honors the other person, but protects yourself as well. If you make a big deal about a misunderstanding, and you drag the whole church into the matter, you will either hurt the other person, or appear as a fool.

So, go alone first…preferably in person where you can see their facial expression and body language.

Over the phone if necessary…most people still respond well over the phone.

But, I do not recommend confrontation by email, text, messaging, or social media… too many mis-understandings and people write some of the nastiest things they would never say in a conversation.

At the end of V15 “If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”

The goal is not to win an argument, but to win a brother. The goal is repentance…turning from sin…and restoration of relationship.

And, listen…speaking to another believer about their wrongdoing may be immensely freeing to them. When Nathan confronted David about Bathsheba and Uriah, David was carrying a heavy burden. He knew he was wrong and being confronted allowed him the freedom to repent.

Listen how David describes the burden he was carrying…prior to confession...Ps 32:1-4 “Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered. 2 Blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit there is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones grew old Through my groaning all the day long. 4 For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer."

Nathan sternly confronted David, but he did it in love for God and for David, and he gained his brother…he set David back on the right track. We are to do the same.

Now, if the other believer does not hear you...now we have a further obligation to bring in others…let’s read V16 again...

Matt 18:16 “But if he will not hear, take [imperative] with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ [lit., “may be made to stand”].

So, if they don’t hear you, then you find your closest friends who will be biased and sympathize with you…maybe find some people wronged by this same person…and you all gang up and club this person.

As ridiculous as that sounds…that’s what we verbally do (or want to do) when we have been hurt... especially if we take step one…going alone and are not received.

If we are vulnerable and put ourselves out there and are not received...sometimes we want to lash out.

But, we must keep in mind we are to be humble in this process. The goal is repentance, restoration and unity in the body.

So, Jesus instructs take 2 or 3 others.

This is as a safeguard for them, for you, and to further establish the matter... in case we need to proceed to Step 3…taking the matter before the church.

When Jesus references ‘by the mouth of two or three witness’ this looks back to Deuteronomy.

Deut 19:15 gives the principle... “One witness shall not rise against a man concerning any iniquity or any sin that he commits; by the mouth of two or three witnesses the matter shall be established.”

This principle… laid out by Moses and given by God... is that in legal matters... two or three witness were needed to convict a person of a crime. This was a safeguard against a false witness who may testify with an impure motive.

We see this idea of witnesses applied numerous times in New Testament scripture:

Paul references the law of 2 or 3 Witnesses in 2 Cor 13 …when an investigation of sin was impending.

1 Tim 5:19 Paul references this law... warning against accusing an elder except by 2 or 3.

In John 8, Jesus said, “I am the light of the world.” The Pharisees said, “Your witness is not true.” Then, Jesus references this law stating, “It is also written in your law that the testimony of two men is true. 18 I am One who bears witness of Myself, and the Father who sent Me bears witness of Me.”

So, we see this principle applied in a variety of ways... in the context of Matt 18…the intent for the witnesses is not entirely clear…two thoughts…maybe both are correct...

Thought One: The witnesses presence supports the person confronting the erring brother…serving as additional testimonies against their sin. So, these would be witnesses with past experience with the offender.

Thought Two: The witnesses are present to observe the second conversation in case we move to Step 3 of telling the church. These witnesses are present for future testimony.

I see merit for both thoughts, but lean towards the second thought (that the witnesses are present to observe and testify in the future if needed)…only because Jesus referenced Deut 19:15.

And the context of Deut 19:15 is judicial…referring to a legal case or trial brought before the tribunal (the priests and judges at that time)…and Step 3 involves bringing the matter before the church. Not the same as a trial, but the context seems closer.

Next in V17 Jesus says “And if he refuses to hear them...”

While the hope is they will hear when confronted by 2 or 3... that you gain a brother…while that is the hope, they may refuse to hear or not heed your words... and this is why by “...witnesses every word may be established.”

So, upon moving to Step 3…objective witnesses were present and can testify that a reconciliation attempt was made…an attempt was made to help this other believer repent from their sin, but they refused.

And, now…and only now…do we “tell it to the church.”

Don’t tell it to the church first. Do yourself and everyone else a favor and follow Jesus’ commands and order. Step 1, 2, then 3.

Step 3 now revolves around the concept of “Church Discipline” which is a real thing…the church has authority to confront and expel a believer from the congregation…let’s take a look...

V17 “And if he refuses to hear them, tell [imperative] it to the church. [words of Jesus] But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”

So, you unsuccessfully went alone, then with 2 or 3... and you didn’t gain your brother or sister… so now you tell it to the church.

Church… Gk. ĕkklēsia by def. “a calling out; an assembly.” By definition, this refers to a gathering of believers…the church. So, do we tell the whole church or just the church leadership?

Well, let’s exercise some wisdom here…what did the church look like in the first century? Small home churches…small gatherings. Very intimate, and everyone knew one another.

What does church look like today? Well, some churches grow to several hundreds or several thousands…a far cry from the first century church.

So, “tell it to the church.” Are you going to tell thousands of people about the offense? And, is the offense worthy of telling everyone?

Wisdom must be exercised. This is a gray area. But, here is what’s not gray…when you have followed Steps 1 and 2 unsuccessfully…Jesus commands proceed to Step 3. And, here are some thoughts on how...

For smaller churches, very well everyone at the church could be informed about the sin and refusal to reconcile.

In a large church setting, most likely you are going to begin with telling church leadership.

Another consideration is what sin was committed…was it more of a personal offense (where not everyone needs to know)? Or, a sin that will effect the whole congregation?

When a prominent Pastor falls into sin, at some point a meeting is called for the whole church…even the whole nation or whole world (depending upon their reach)…where the church addresses the issue of sin, and the steps they are taking with the sinning brother.

Wisdom must be exercised because every situation is different. God gave us guidelines, but He also gave us His Holy Spirit, the power of prayer, fasting, waiting on the Lord and a multitude of counselors…he also gave us a brain…and we need to exercise all of these advantages.

So, the church get’s involved…humbly and with the goal of restoring and unity, but the sinning brother still does not hear, so at this point...

V17 states, “But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be [“let him be”... 1 Gk. word…also an imperative] to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”

Heathens and tax collectors are assumed to be unbelievers…

2 Cor 6:14 states, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” The answer to these rhetorical questions is “none.”

Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners to evangelize…to be a Doctor to the sick. He didn’t engage in sin, and His closest fellowship…His disciples…they were believers.

So, in Matt 18, this believer who is unrepentant of sin after Steps 1, 2, & 3…now they are to be treated as an outsider…to be removed from fellowship. Catholics call this “excommunication.” And, while this may seem harsh…it’s perhaps the most loving thing you can do, so you do not enable them in their sin. Consequences in life are sometimes the largest eye openers and biggest heart softeners.

And, there are several verses supporting breaking fellowship with people in opposition to the church...

Rom 16:17 “Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them.”

2 Thes 3:14-15 “...if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish [warn] him as a brother.”

In 1 Cor 5:1-5 Paul wrote, “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles—that a man has his father’s wife! 2 And you are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you.” [Skip ahead to V5 Paul says,] “...deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.”

Paul’s judgment was loving…not easy, but loving…the sin was deep…and this person was to be cast out of the fellowship in hope that his sinful flesh would be destroyed and his spirit saved.

In the account of the Prodigal Son… at his lowest point…after he squandered his inheritance…we read Luke 15:16-18 “And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything. 17 “But when he came to himself [came to his senses], he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you...”

Repentance came after the Prodigal was in the world, lost everything and hit rock bottom. Then, “he came to his sense” and turned back to his Father. And, that’s the hope…that sin will only be pleasurable for a season and then reality will set in, and they will turn back.

Church discipline may feel extreme, but extreme sin and disobedience calls for separation. All throughout these steps…the end goal is restoration of the sinner, restoration of relationships... and unity in the body.

Then Jesus said in V18...

Matt 18:18 “Assuredly [Gk. amēn - trustworthy], I say to you , whatever you [plural- the church] bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

The church has authority as given by heaven to bind or loosen. There is accord between heaven and a church that is under submission to God and following His will and His word.

Spurgeon said, “Each church has the keys of its own door. When those keys are rightly turned by the assembly below, the act is ratified above.”

In the first century, if you were cast out of the church, there were not churches on every corner…this was a big deal. Today, you can just go to another church if you don’t like…well... just about anything.

But, as I read this verse…especially in the context of sin and church discipline…I’m not so sure that heaven…that God will release a person before they make things right. You could run to another church, but God still knows what was bound against you, “...and be sure your sin will find you out.” Num 32:23

The context is this passage is a sinning believer and the steps to restore them. If they fail to repent, they are bound in sin…if they repent, they are loosened.

Being bound is what happens when you are imprisoned, and this is what sin in an unrepentant heart does to a person.

Being loosened is when a person is set free, and humbly repenting (or turning) from sin, and reconciling hurt relationships…these free a person.

Continuing with this context…VSS 19-20...

Matt 18:19 “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”

We often apply this verse to prayer, as V19 references “asking”…but, this is not the context. God will hear your prayers if you are alone, two or three, or thousands.

Don’t worry…if we pray together…I won’t judge you if you quote this verse thanking God for His presence.

But, if you start asking for fancy cars and big boats, and look to me to agree with you… “Lord give me a boat…will you agree with me?”

When you pray and “ask amiss” out of your “desires for pleasure” (James 4)…well I won’t agree with you in that prayer.

The whole ‘prosperity doctrine’ concept of “agreeing in prayer” is misapplying V19 to prayer and then misapplying it again to prosperity. It’s a double mis-application.

The intent of V19, given the context, goes back to Deut 19:15... establishing a matter by 2 or 3 witnesses.

In order to bind or loosen (V18), there must be agreement by at least two people. There does not have to be a huge assembly of people for church discipline.

When sin causes a rift between two believers, there only needs to be two or three gathered to pray and ask God to bind or loosen... as they seek restoration and unity in the church.

And, that’s the whole point of these verses…Jesus’ disciples were disputing, and they needed to be unified. They needed to talk to one another and work things out so their relationships were restored and they were united.

I can’t promise you that you found the perfect church…but, I believe that as we live by these principles... taught by Jesus, even if we dispute, we can work it out and move forward in harmony.

Amen? Let’s pray!

Read ahead…we finish Matt 18 next week looking at the topic of forgiveness which directly ties to the context of today.

If you need prayer for anything, we’d love to pray with you. If you are not saved, and want to give your life to Christ today, we definitely want to pray with you!

“The LORD bless you and keep you;

The LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you;

The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,And give you peace.” ’

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